Porto Day 2 (sun) and (mon)

Sunday

I eat breakfast and take a long hot bath. I will explore today. I will. I get out and walk all around town.
A great deal of the city seems shut down. I am on the main shopping street, just looking at the window displays with other people. A man, who looks homeless, stops and offers me a cookie (they have hundreds of digestive biscuit cookies to choose from here, they are really cheap and in a round package), I decline, but it was a sweet gesture.
After a while, I am looking at another window display and a decent looking guy walks by me, stops and looks, and then stops at the window display, sneaking looks at me. I decide to keep walking and another guy (You guys I´m really not making this up or being paranoid. This is completly honest and objective) does a double look at me and also crosses the road walking towards me. I luck upon a mall with lots of people and I am folllowed by my two new friends. Who really look completly decent but I just want to be by myself today. I march into the first store I see. It´s a upscale expensive fest, but for this purpose it´s fine. It has relaxing music. I look at the €40 tanks. This is absurd. Yes, yes, I may have been a little hypersensitive in the past about guys being attracted to me (because at 19 I thought I had succesfully become an invisible flower on the wall where that was concered), I may still be, but I have worked on this (a little) and to go from it happening 4 times a year to 10 times a day (stalking included) is just a little much.
I walk around the stores and try to get the mindset where it doesn´t annoy or rattle me. I try to picture myself as a women who can be relaxed and cool and unphased . Nope. I don´t like being stalked or random guys attempting to "get to know me" when I´m in each city for a few days. There will be no dinner. No walks by the river. No making out. No dating. No sex. no marriage. I´m just not interested-I´m traveling dang it. Little Ava the Austrian told me her boyfriend is her cello and I understood. I told her mine is bread, but thinking about it, really it´s more just tasting experiences. Be it pastries or sights or walks or talks. I also told her about my monthly crushes on random famous guys and she told me I should never cheat on my boyfriend.
I love hostels and the boys there. And if random men in the park or on the street where just looking for a friendly conversation (and on the search for communal lentils and pasta), it would be fine. But it hasn´t happened to me yet. It may be the culture, that´s fine. But I would like to just walk down the street or sit on the park bench like a normal person or be able to stop and look at something for 2 seconds without getting forced into a "what language do you speak, you want to go out" conversation.

I find a grocery store and feel my whole body relax. I buy a pear and orange but keep shopping around. So what did you do in Europe Michelle? I went to ever supermarket I could. And it was awesome. At this rate you are going to go to every supermarket in Europe. I look at the entire row of digestive buscuits. And then glance at the chocolate. No. Still gross. I. have. taste. adversion. to. you. Oh you do not. It says back to me. People suck. Eat us. We are tasty and supply whatever that pherimone,endosomething thing is that makes you happy. You won´t care that you can´t walk down the street like a normal person.

Ugh. That. is. it. I decide. I am getting engaged. I don´t need strange men on the street talking to me, I have groceries for that.
I leave the chocolate (buy my groceries) and I march to all the clairs like stores I have passed. My portugese pear is amazing. The only problem is all their rings are costumy. I had been planning to bring an engagement-like ring with me on my trip for this very purpose. The only problem was I didn´t own one. I hate rings. My fingers hate rings. I brought along a gold band that had happysad drama face on it (it´s the only ring I´ve ever liked-I stole it from my sister), but turtle laughed that I thought an obvious costume ring might work. I am willing to pay anything for a engagement-looking ring right now. Up to €5 anyways. I find one that fits but it´s an enormous purple stone surrounded by (fake) diamonds. The point is to cut down my admirers, not get my finger lopped off by a gypsy kid. I keep looking.

After searching for 45 minutes in 5 different stores, I find it. It´s a simple silver band. It has 3 little diamonds on the bottom on the left side and 3 little diamonds on the top on the right side. I put it on and took it off. It did panic me a little how I kept thinking it was stuck on my finger for life (the main reason I hate rings), but after 7 or so tries I was convinced I wouldn´t be stuck with a stupid ring on my finger for the rest of my life. It can come off with a calm mind and a little work. It´s €3.95. that´s like 6 dollars. for a ring. but I agree that it will be totally worth it if it works. You are absolutly correct Thrifty girl. I buy it and put it on. I go use the restroom and think about who gave it to me.

His name is Andrew. We are getting married November 27th. He is a year from becoming a doctor. He is tall and blond. He was really busy with his residencies (or whatever they are called) and Andrew isn´t that interested in travel, he´s got his doctor thing. We are going to live in Boston. We met in Kansas City. I miss him a lot and after I do my Europe thing, I´ll come back and settle down in Boston. Thinking about it, Andrew is a bit of a square, but I don´t actually have to be attracted to him, just engaged. Besides, with my mind, it´s probably a good thing I´m not attracted to my fake fiance. Half of my honest to goodness crushes have been on literary characters.

I look at the Ring and introduce myself. Hi, I´ll do my best, but just so you know, there are men out there who don´t really care if there is a ring on your finger. I know Ring, but if you get rid of the decent guys for me, I only have to get rid of the indecent ones, it will save me time and energy. And I need that energy for mugger awareness, crossing streets, and keeping watch that I don´t daydream all the time. Fine with me, lets go.

I go out with my left hand in display. And it was beautiful. Men looked at me and saw the silver glittering on my ring finger and looked away and kept walking. The sun came out and I kept walking, strutting a little even. I was superwomen. Super travel girl with an €3.95 fake engagement ring on my finger.

I got stuck on a few narrow streets that made me a little nervous, but all in all have a good walking day. I ate some swordfish and ran into Beatriz. We hug. She asks me what I´m doing that night. I´m not doing anything. We´ll coming here to get a drink (in the european sense.) If you´d like to join us. It won´t be late because we have a flight in the morning.
I consider it and ask what time
Well, it has to be early because we have to be to the airport at 6am.
Probably 11. It will just be till 12.
Hah. Oh I´m an old lady. An old lady schoolmarm. I tell Beatriz it is a little late for me (she already thinks I´m a very interesting creature.)
I consider but there´s no way in heck I´m walking down to the river at 10:30 and a cab would be €10. I think every possiblity of going out people, other than thursday night, has had a €10-€30 price tag. I really like Beatriz, such a cute lovely lisbon girl, but I´m liking my safe little hotel room (after I look under the bed, in the shower, and in the sitting room.).

Monday.
It´s 4:00 and I meant to just be in the cheap internet cafe till 2 when I could check into my new hotel but got a little comfortable. they have mtv on so I´m a little distracted. While is discouraging to not be able to escape your countries stupid songs, it does feel like I´ve brought along my ipod or mix tape. Except when "photograph" comes on. Help. Us. All. "loook at this photogrrrrraaaaph." most disgusting sounding singing voice ever. How I hate that song. How I hate it so. But coldplay came on "and I will try to fix you...." ahh. thanks. and (don´t know the singer) "so you had a bad day, blah blah blah blah,sing a sad song, turn it around, so you had a bad day" again thanks.
andJust for you Ans. Natasha Beddingfield. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou." Hah ha. (kiss) And apparently it´s the european version of her video. No fun dancing stereos. In this she´s storming around a cool european cottage in cool clothes, cutting flowers and scribbling in a notepad. Though it´s still a little fantasyish video. So I guess you might have still hated the song with a passion even if you had seen this video. But she was wearing very nice clothes. And there were flowers. and lots of colors. and sketchbooks. Tips, you would have liked it.